Ratspeak

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Did I miss the memo?

When did it happen that women were declared to always be right? Not that I think men are always right, but come on! Let me give a few examples:

The toilet seat. I mean, sure, it sucks to put your ass into a cold toilet bowl becuase the seat is up in the middle of the night. There are a lot of other things that sitting in sucks too. So you look before you put your ass down anywhere. Especially if your ass is naked. Why is one way better than the other? 'Cause women say so.

Sex in relationships. Bill Maher once did a riff on the relationship therapists idea of "exploring your mutual fantasies." He pointed out there is no such thing. I don't remember the exact quote, but to paraphrase, it went something like this: There is no fantasy that starts out with Prince Charming bringing roses and weight-gain-free chocolates to sweep the woman off of her feet, and take her to his perfectly clean home, only to have him come on her face. And he is right. How often do you hear people giving advice to men about creating romance. Do you ever hear a relationship cousellor say "the problem is you don't put out like a porn star. That'd keep him happy. And next time you're in the mood, bring your hottest girlfriend home too." Nope. The women's way is "right" and guys are perverts who should change.

Anything else in relationships. Why is it most women I know a) don't recognize the value of a weekend day where you do nothing, and b) can't do whatever it is that stops them from doing nothing alone? I want a new book or DVD, I'll go out and grab it. A woman wants it, why even though she knows exactly what she wants and where to find it, she needs someone to go with her. And of course, I'm the insensitive one if I don't go. Why? 'Cause someone decided the woman is always right. Or at least that is the way I see it.

But then, having a penis, I'm probably wrong.

1 Comments:

  • "the problem is you don't put out like a porn star."Best quote ever...

    By Anonymous Dan, at 10:34 AM  

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