Ratspeak

A review of DC Adventures Hero’s Handbook

2010-10-04T06:18:00.003-04:00

Green Ronin is the latest company to get the license to produce a DC Comics role playing game. Over the years, there have been some good and bad takes on the DCU. It has been a while since the West End Games version, which in my opinion played okay at the lower levels, but fell apart pretty quickly at the higher levels (Superman needs to make an extra effort attack to destroy a motorcycle? Really?)

I’m something of a Green Ronin fan, although I found Mutants & Masterminds first edition (their first pass at a super hero RPG) to be a little easy to break – even accidentally – although full of good ideas. DC Adventures Hero’s Handbook uses the Mutants & Mastermind 3rd Edition rules, and they have come a long way.
The fact that this book uses the M&M third edition does show – take out a couple of chapters, do some quick edits in the Advantages section, swap out the artwork, and you pretty much have removed the DC from the book. This can be considered either a strength or a weakness, depending on your perspective.

The book is very nice to look at. Cover art by Alex Ross, and interior art by some of the most well-known DC artists.

The system, overall, is easy to understand. It is focused around one base mechanic, and they keep to that throughout. This means that once you get started, it is easy to play. The chapter on Gamemastering is well-written and informative. The chapter on the DC Universe has just enough information to give an overview, but not so much that future supplements can’t expand on it. And the flow makes sense, for the most part.
That said, there certainly are some flaws. Most of these are organizational. A couple of examples:

Do you want to know what happens when you punch someone? How they resist and what the effects are? That is under the “Damage” power. Trying to hit them can be found in the “Abilities” chapter or in the “Action & Adventure” chapter. How they resist can actually be found in the “Actions & Adventure” chapter, as well. But the effects of failing to resist is in the Powers chapter under damage. Sort of. It will tell you there that your opponent is dazed until the end of their next turn. Then back to the “The Basics” chapter to find out the game effects of being dazed. The “Actions & Adventure” chapter really needed a few things – the chart from the Damage power as to the impact of failing a resistance check, a list of the conditions, and an example of combat. If the example can be taken from an actual page in a comic book for flavor, so much the better, but at very least, an example of how combat works between some original characters would have been helpful. But again, this is an organizational issue – I shouldn’t need to look in three different chapters to run a combat. And granted, after playing even just a session or two, you’ll have the mechanics down well enough that it won’t matter. But in trying to learn the game, this was a complication.

Want to know how fast your character can run? There is this line in the “The Basics” chapter: “with normal human ground speed being 0,” which is in ranks, by the way, not their actual speed. Does this mean Batman moves at normal human ground speed? Does Agility, which is said to be “balance, grace, speed and overall physical coordination” play into it? I’ll be honest. I don’t know. Batman clearly cannot run at his Agility rating, or he is running a 12 second mile. That’s 300 miles per hour. That becomes 600 miles per hour if he uses the Athletics skill to increase his running speed by 1. I cannot find any other reference to ground speed for characters, other than the Speed power, but that isn’t really what I am looking for. (If I run a campaign, I’ll be house ruling that the Athletics check to increase speed is a graded check, at least on the success side. This gives Batman a chance to run a 4-minute (or less) mile).

And while I think those complaints are valid, they are not game breakers, especially not for an experienced gamer. And the combat page-flipping one, by the way, is avoided if you download the Quick Start PDF from Green Ronin, which also has stats for a couple of characters not included in the game itself.

There are also some concessions to game balance that won’t necessarily make sense to everybody. Batman, trying to hit Superman with a punch misses only on a roll of “1” on a twenty-sided die. And a 1 always misses. Which means Batman is as likely to hit Superman (super-speed and all) as he is to hit a thug, or even a normal civilian. He won’t hurt Superman of course, but he will hit him. Conversely, Superman, who can move so fast that he can’t be seen, only has a 40% chance to hit Batman. If he does, Batman is pretty likely to be out cold, or at least staggered (that’s defined in “The Basics” by the way). Bats needs a “3” to tag the Flash.

The Power system in DCA is flexible, and this section of the book does have good examples. Combined with the descriptions of DC characters included, it gives you some insight into how to put together the power of your dreams. This is a solid part of the book, for sure.

And lastly, on to my favorite part of any licensed product: Stats for the licensed characters. In the heroes section, we find stats for Aquaman, Batman, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, The Flash, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Nightwing, Plastic Man, Robin, Superman, Wonder Woman and Zatanna. This gives us a look at three different power levels of “non-powered adventurers” in Batman, Nightwing and Robin, as well as gadget-based heroes, a mystic, and a chance to explore the difference between having combat skills through stats and having them through skills and advantages.

On the villain side, we have Black Adam, Black Manta, Braniac, Catwoman, Cheetah, Circe, Darkseid, Gorilla Grodd, Joker, Lex Luthor, Prometheus, Sinestro, Solomon Grundy, Vandal Savage. This gives us an interesting cross-section of power levels, power types and even allows the chance to have a character with a negative ability and a non-existent ability show up in the form of Solomon Grundy.

As with any licensed product, I had some issues with the stats (Batman’s Agility higher than Nightwing’s? I realize they gave Nightwing the better Acrobatics skill, but Nightwing should have better base Agility than Batman – anywhere in that area that Batman outdoes him comes from training that hard, not from greater natural ability. The Flash doesn’t have some kind of Damage power to represent a flurry of superspeed punches, instead doing terrible damage, or relying on whirlwinds and such.) but my biggest problem was that with the awesome Alex Ross painting on the cover portraying all of the characters statted out on the hero side except Zatanna, it also had the Atom and Hawkman and Hawkgirl on the cover. I’m something of a Hawkman fan, and would have loved to see him in there. Atom would have been cool too. That said, I enjoyed this book enough that I am looking forward to the upcoming books DC ADVENTURES Heroes& VillainsVolumesI& II.

Overall, this seems to be a playable game. I’m not sure the system is ideal for DC characters, but it is definitely a solid system, once you get over the organization issues. It has gotten me intrigued enough that I am considering running a game for the first time in a long time.

Overall, this game has some real strengths - it is great to look at, has a system that is easy to play, having one core mechanic, and is easy to teach others - learning it the first time is harder than it needs to be due to the page flipping issues, but still much easier than many other games. It does an acceptable job of modeling the licensed universe, with a couple of oddities that stand out for game balance as noted above. I took a crack at whether or not I could make up some of my more unusual character ideas in the system, and I was able to do so. If you like super hero RPGs, and are a fan of DC comics, this is a solid purchase. However, if you are not a fan of DC, then you may want to wait until Mutants & Masterminds 3rd Edition comes out, which is purported to be using the same system, but without the DC flavor elements.

Some Thoughts on Iron Man 2

2010-05-18T06:54:00.002-04:00

Iron Man 2 Spoilers ahead. You have been warned.

I saw Iron Man 2 and quite enjoyed it. It was well acted (not hard to believe with that cast) and I found it to be well-paced and fun. I was glad to see Justin Hammer, and glad to see him make it through the movie. I remember the “Power of Iron Man” graphic novel very fondly. I cannot remember which issues it collected, but it told the story of Tony Stark – a Tony Stark very much like the one Robert Downey Jr. plays – descending into alcoholism, using Iron Man as a crutch, which fails, and eventually triumphing.

It was during this time that James “Rhodey” Rhodes first wore the Iron Man suit, and it was a red-and-gold suit at the time, not the silver-and-black War Machine suit that was introduced much later, unlike in the movie. Justin Hammer turned out to be the villain of the piece. He had discovered a way to take over Iron Man’s suit and caused several malfunctions which caused Tony to take the lives of others, including repulsor blasting right through a diplomat’s torso at a very public and high-profile photo op.

This series of comics shows Tony hitting bottom and starting to climb back out with the help of those around him. Then, he takes it to Hammer. Hammer is surrounded by Tony’s enemies, but none of them can stand up to a new and improved, clear thinking Golden Avenger.

All of that was in the comics. I am hoping we get a touch of that in the next Iron Man movie as well. Seeing Hammer come back as a scheming foe – a little harder and more self confident and intimidating for his time in jail – would be very gratifying for this old-school comic geek. And Sam Rockwell could definitely pull it off.

The other thing I really liked about this movie is its attempt (unlike the comics) to show the impact of having a superhero in the world. Tony brags that he has “privatized world peace.” Comic books rarely deal with issues like this; the truth is that a world with super beings in it, particularly super inventors like Stark or like Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four, would quickly cease bearing much resemblance to the world we live in. This works fine for short-term entertainment like movies, or one-off graphic novels or books, but for an ongoing comic series, it makes it less accessible to new fans the less the world resembles our own. Could Tony Stark revolutionize power generation? Sure. Could Reed Richards feed the world and solve the ever-growing water shortage issues? It seems likely.

This theme was touched on in Iron Man 2, although not taken too far. However, Nick Fury suggested that revolutionizing the world with cheap, clean energy was something that Stark would be doing in the near future based on the work of his father. It will be interesting to see if they continue to explore the impact of this change on the world. Imagine if oil was no longer used for power, but only for manufacturing. And given that Stark creates a new element in this movie, perhaps he could even come up with a way to take the petro out of petrochemicals. I find these ideas almost more interesting and exciting than the super hero aspects of the movie.

Back to the movie – the action was good, the characters engaging, and the pacing excellent. The effects were well done, and I appreciated that the movie wasn’t forced into 3D. I can understand the complaints I have heard that there are too many divergent plot lines. This movie is not only telling the story of Tony Stark dealing with some of his own issues, competing with Justin Hammer and defending himself against the Senate. He also is dealing with fallout from his family’s past relationships, which ends up circling into his conflict with Hammer. Amidst all of this, he has to deal with the military taking one of his suits of armor. The movie also does some preparation for the Avengers movie, introducing Natasha Romanov, known as the Black Widow and featuring a significant role for Nick Fury.

Again, this certainly is a lot of information. My experience with the source material may have helped me follow, but overall I didn’t find the volume of content to be overwhelming. I thought the story flowed well enough to allow all of this to make sense.

And by the way, continuing in the tradition of the first Iron Man movie, you may want to hang around after the credits for a tiny peak at what is to come from Marvel.

Goodbye to Better Off Ted

2010-05-16T17:17:00.004-04:00

News came down this week that ABC has chosen to cancel a couple of shows I was hoping would get another season – FlashForward and Better Off Ted.

I’m going to talk about other shows here – including Lost, and in so doing am going to talk frankly about anything that has happened up to the most recent episodes. Consider this your spoiler alert.

I’m a little disappointed there won’t be more FlashForward, though honestly I was just telling my wife the other day that FlashForward is a funny show in that I like almost none of the characters, but I am still watching. Certainly, I don’t like any of the main characters. It’s been entirely story –driven for me. That is not what usually draws me to a show, and certainly not to follow it regularly. I love Burn Notice – and not because of the ongoing story of Michael Westen trying to get out of Miami. I love the characters on the show – Michael, his mother, and most of all Sam Axe. Put Bruce Campbell on a show, and it is likely I will watch. On FlashForward, there is no one who I care about. John Cho as Demitri Noh is close, but like my other favorite character, Zachary Knighton’s Dr. Bryce Varley, just isn’t enough of a focus.

Lost also pulled me in at least as much with characters I liked as it did with the mysteries and stories – I never have like Jack much. But Sawyer, Sayid, Jin and Sun, Locke in the early seasons, Mr. Eko, Miles, Ben, Hurly, Charlotte, Daniel, Desmond – these were all characters I liked and cared about. This made the mysteries more impactful, because they were happening to people whose future I was invested in. This in fact is one of my complaints about this, the last season. They took Sayid - one of the most interesting characters on the show in my opinion, and turned him into an un-interesting character leading right up to his own death. I suppose his sparing Desmond and sacrificing himself were to represent his own redemption arc, but I would have rather had the capable, determined, yet internally conflicted Sayid we came to enjoy throughout the show.

Better off Ted, (link is to the show's Hulu page - sorry to those outside the US) on the other hand – wow… What to say. Here is show that was never given the chance it deserved to shine. The time was moved around repeatedly, shown in a “burn off” fashion surrounded by reruns, and indeed – the last two episodes have never been shown. Every episode was funny, well written, well acted and fun. It seemed like it would be such a perfect complement to Modern Family on Wednesday nights. Quirky characters, witty dialogue situations that could almost be true – this show should have been a hit, but I was worried right from the beginning when my friends up in Canada told me that they couldn’t even find the show in the listings – that is usually not a good sign. I wish that this show had been picked up by another network or that there could be a last-minute save for the show, but Jay Harrington, the eponymous Ted is already moving on to his next project, an NBC show called “Nathan vs. Nurture.”

I’ll miss FlashForward a little, but I will mourn the passing of Better Off Ted. At least the Season 2 DVD should have the two unaired episodes on it.

On Three Authors

2010-02-06T09:58:00.002-05:00

There are three authors who have had a very formative impact on my life, and I feel like I should be giving them credit – or is that blame?

I was considering doing these in three parts, counting down to the number one, but given my relatively sparse update schedule, I am going to touch on all three in this post.

Howard Phillips Lovecraft, most commonly known as H.P. Lovecraft is one of the original masters of the horror tale. No less than Steven King called him, “the twentieth century's greatest practitioner of the classic horror tale." Other authors who speak of his influence on them include two of the greatest comic book authors ever, Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore.

The way Lovecraft wrote was amazing to me. His sentence structure and vocabulary were so precise, so deliberate; he was my first introduction to an author whose sentence structure said as much as the words that made up those sentences. I remember reading these stories, in the days before the internet, not being able to look up words like noisome, or squamous until I got home, and having to intuit the meaning of these words from the context. Other words, I would work through their origins and try to think of similar words that I did know… I think that helped my vocabulary mature and expand more than any of my other reading. Between that vocabulary, the time the books were written, and some of his more obscure references, I recommend the annotated versions of his works for those who are just getting started with his them.

Lovecraft had a dark view of the world his was a world where humans were insignificant. Not even where we irritants to the things that lived here before us, and slept dreaming inconceivable dreams, but instead, we were insignificant, and even understanding our role in the universe could lead to unending madness.

Movies have been made based on Lovecraft’s work, though I know of no good ones. One of the things about Lovecraft’s work is that many of the things are described are inconceivable to human minds – non-Euclidean geometries, things with too many or too few dimensions, or things so utterly alien we cannot understand them. These things cannot be well portrayed on film, which doesn’t stop many people from trying.

Philip K. Dick is one of the most admired science fiction writers ever. In fact, there is now an award recognizing excellence in the genre called the Philip K. Dick award. His tales share some characteristics with those of Lovecraft. The worlds of Dick are dark, with the average or common man being oppressed in many cases by megalithic corporations or authoritarian governments. He used these as a statement on the dangers of letting things reach these points. In this way, he is very different than Lovecraft, who seemed to embrace some of the ideas he wrote about.

Dick, instead, used his writings to explore sociological and political themes. Indeed, I think the two authors would have very much not gotten along had they ever had the chance to meet. Lovecraft was in many ways buttoned-down. He prized the stiff upper lip of the English, and saw people who didn’t as week. Dick described himself as “a flipped-out freak.”

Dick’s stories often deal with the nature of reality, as do Lovecraft’s. Lovecraft’s stories centered around the idea that we can’t even conceive of reality, or that our minds cannot tolerate it if we do. Dick’s tales in many cases deal with the idea that reality is subjective, or perhaps that it is layered. Equally, they deal with personal identity – an area where they diverge greatly from the majority of Lovecraft’s works.

I keep comparing the two, because I find that both have a similar and singular effect on me: if I read too much of either of these brilliant authors, I can actually feel my own view of my universe starting to slide. I see things a little differently after finishing a collection of Dick stories.

Like Lovecraft, movies have been made of, or based on, many of Dick’s work. The difference here is that many of these have been artistic, commercial and some even critical successes. Blade Runner is based on Dick’s story Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. Minority Report is based on the short story of the same name. Philip K. Dick has quite a list of credits on the Internet Movie Database. Unfortunately, most of these movies were made after Dick’s passing. Dick suffered with financial issues for most of his life.

The last of the authors I who have influenced me over the years is James Ellroy. The “Demon Dog of American crime fiction.” A dark man who tells dark stories. His own past is colored – he admits to breaking into homes to sniff panties in his misguided, drug-addled younger years – and it shows in his writing.

A fascinating man, he has a public persona that he relishes, and it is unclear how much of this is really him, or even derived from him. From the Wikipedia page linked above, here is Ellroy’s own public introduction:

"Good evening peepers, prowlers, pederasts, panty-sniffers, punks and pimps. I'm James Ellroy, the demon dog, the foul owl with the death growl, the white knight of the far right, and the slick trick with the donkey dick. I'm the author of 16 books, masterpieces all; they precede all my future masterpieces. These books will leave you reamed, steamed and drycleaned, tie-dyed, swept to the side, true-blued, tattooed and bah fongooed. These are books for the whole fuckin' family, if the name of your family is the Manson Family."

He is a character, possibly even more so than the deep (and deeply flawed and human) characters in his books. Ellroy’s stories are at the same time dark and hopeful. Good people exist, and can make a difference, but the status quo is corruption. His writing is a fast and furious style, short sentences, like a boxer’s jabs. He frequently uses alliteration to give that jab-jab-jab even more emphasis. These tendencies make this style almost tiring to read. It demands to be chug-a-lugged and not sipped. It’s a shot of whiskey, not a sip of Chardonnay. Combine all of this with the use of setting- and time-appropriate slang, and an amazing vocabulary use to support all of the above, and you have one of the most distinct voices in literature.

The first of his L.A. Quartet, The Black Dahlia, is a personal tale for him from one side – his mother was raped and killed when he was young, and the crime remained unsolved, much like that of the real Dahlia. This book has many of the usual features of a James Ellroy novel – cops struggling against and with corruption, balancing one view of the “right thing” against another, and being forced to choose which way to tip those scales.

Ellroy’s books are almost impossible for me to put down once I have started reading them. One of my favorite movies of all time is L.A. Confidential – in fact I watched that movie before I ever read one of his books. It was a good adaptation in spirit although it, understandably, had to take some deviations from the book.

The Black Dahlia was a less successful movie adaptation. But there are still more on the way. Ellroy is not for the faint of heart – reading his introduction of himself above should tell you that. But if you can enjoy an unflinching look at the dark side of American society, I highly recommend his works.

These three authors have given me hours of enjoyment and have expanded my vocabulary, my mind and the way I look at the world around me. There are many other great authors out there, and this list is not meant to be a slight against any of them. Really, I just hope that everyone keeps reading, and we never lose sight of the pleasure that can be found in a good book.

Give a Day, Get a Disney Day

2010-01-06T08:55:00.004-05:00

I have to say, I am a big fan of Disney's latest big promotion. It's called "Give a Day, Get a Disney Day" and it means that simply by volunteering your time to a charitable organization, you get a free day at a Disney Park. And, if you don't think you'll be making it to Walt Disney World Resort or Disneyland Resort this year, you can also have that ticket donated to a charity that will use it to bring kids who might not otherwise get to experience the magic of a Disney Park.

To promote this, they have teamed up with the Muppets. If you want more information on the "Give a Day, Get a Disney Day" program, just go to... well... why don't I let these guys tell you about it?

What are you waiting for? Click it, already!

Survivor 19 - Samoa

2010-01-05T13:58:00.004-05:00

Was it just me, or was this season one of the most enjoyable ones in recent memory? Russel Hantz made for great television, and was a joy to watch. The setting was beautiful, the challenges interesting, and two contestants were removed for medical reasons.

For anyone who doesn't watch, Russel Hantz was defeated at the final tribal council by Natalie White. Their styles couldn't have been more different. Russel was brash, and always looking ahead to how to make it to the end of the game. Natalie was quiet and more focused on getting to know people.

Jeff Probst, the host of the show, says that Russel was robbed by a bitter jury. Stephen Fishbach, a former contestant himself, tells Probst that he is wrong on his strategy blog.

And I agree with Fishman. Russel points out that the sign for Survivor says "Outwit, Outplay Outlast." That there is no "Out-Socialize" on there. And the fact that even after he lost (weeks after he lost, it seems) he still feels that way shows why he lost. Part of Survivor is the social game. It has been since Richard Hatch won the first season. Let me say that again - social game. One "plays" a game. Russel interpreted "Outplay" as referring to the part of the game he valued. He doesn't see the value of the social game at all.The value of the social game this season was about $1,000,000.

Russel was an amazing player. In fact, I'd go so far as to call him masterful. He found hidden immunity idols with no hints - twice. He played one of those immunity idols at the exact right time when his butt was on the line. He certainly never hurt his own team by actions within a challenge. In many ways, he may have been the best player ever.

He thought outside the box. On the first day, he burned one of his tribe-mates' socks. He dumped out canteens of water, after drinking his fill. He put his own tribe down into the dumps so he could pick them up and take on the role of savior. And it mostly worked. He likes to claim that every vote out was who he wanted voted out. That is not specifically true. He backed down to Jaison on the Ben vote. And there were other times where he announced early who he wanted out next, but circumstances forced him to change. He showd the necessary flexibility. He was good.

But he also wore the hidden immunity idol openly to the last two tribal councils where it could be used, and showed his arrogance by not using it at the last possible opportunity. In front of the jury. At the final tribal council, he made no attempt to mollify the jury, some of whom he had lied to an betrayed, and instead expected them to vote for him based on his skillful game play. And this is where his game fell apart.

Natalie on the other hand actually bonded with the members of the Galu tribe when the merge happened. She almost was ostracized from her own alliance because when it came time to pick teams for a challenge, she picked one of the former Galu members over he own Foa Foa brethren. (By the way, she got his vote at the final tribal council.)

She also was actually, as far as I could tell from the episode, the orchastrator of one of the single most important move of the game. When the two tribes merged, Galu had 8 members, and Foa Foa had 4. If Galu were playing intelligently, they would have split their vote 4 each for any two of those Foa Foa members. Assuming the Foa Foas all vote the same, we have a tie - possibly a three-way tie or - and this is key - if one of the Foa Foa members has and plays the immunity idol, you still have a two-way tie. Now, it is a re-vote. Having decided so before hand, the tribe now all puts their votes down for the person the really want out, or the person who does not have the immunity idol. That play is only possible because of having twice the numbers of the Foa Foa tribe. Instead, they vote out one of their own, Erik, partly at the urging of Natalie, and partly because they all feel secure with the advantage in numbers.

This triggered the next most important moves - one of the Galu members who didn't get along with most of the tribe (Shambo) wasn't in on the switch of vote to one of their own. Several times in later shows, when old Galu members tried to entice her back to voting with them, rather than following Russell, Shambo replied "There is no tribe loyalty. There is no Galu. That ended with Erik." (I'm paraphrasing, but that is the gist.) So, this girl Natalie, who has been accused of doing nothing all game, actually was one of the movers and shakers behind the move that got Foa Foa 5 votes instead of 4.

Even so, it is now 6 against 5. At the next tribal council, Russell has attracted all of the fire, particularly since he is now clearly the ring leader of the Foa Foa group. Once the votes have gone down, he plays his immunity idol. Bam! 5-5. Next, the two tribes vote to a tie, and in the re-vote, instead of having to face a 1-in-8 chance of not being there the next day, John from Galu changes his vote and now, the former Foa Foas have a 5-4 voting advantage. But Russell had told John that if he helped them get rid of a Galu, he would give up a Foa Foa. He had no intention of doing so, and John was next to go.

From there, it was just a numbers game until one of the Galu members made a run of immunity challenge wins, forcing Russell, Natalie and their ally Mick to vote out one of their own, and Jaison was gone. At the last immunity challenge, Russel came up big, and made sure it was only the Foa Foas in the final tribal council - but not before telling Brett (the last remaining Galu) that if Russell won immunity, he would take Brett to the end because Brett was such a good person.

So, in the course of securing his place in the final three, Russel lied to John's face, turned on Shambo, lied to Brett's face and told both Mick and Jaison that they were safe when they had to vote out one of the Foa Foa's, only to vote Jaison out. This is what Russel felt was "outplay." Lying in the faces of people who got to decide if you won a million dollars.

At the end of the day, his social game came back to bite him. Natalie won 7-2, and earned the title of Sole Survivor. Russel and his fans, of which there are many, feel he was robbed. Those folks don't see that survivor is a multi-layered game - backstabbing is part of it, winning challenges is part of it, and finding hidden immunity idols is part of it. Russel exceeded at two of those parts of the game, and pulled out an immunity win when he needed it most, to get rid of Brett. But he was, and still is, ignorant of the part of the game that happens at the end. The way you make the jury members feel about being voted out is as important if not more so as the other parts of the game. Russel expected them all to bow to his greatness, while Natalie expected them all to react like human beings.

Let's see - a driving force in the biggest single move of the game (if Galu had followed the plan I laid out earlier, even Russel's immunity idol wouldn't have helped the next time - one of the Foa Foas were going home again), and a consummate social game. Sounds to me like she made all the right moves, and deserves to be called Sole Survivor.

More Green Power Wonderings.

2009-10-02T20:47:00.002-04:00

Recently, I have read several articles about power-generating "ivy" and I think this idea is fascinating, and possibly brilliant.

The applications of new, greener power systems feel limitless. Reading about this, about the idea of generating power from rain and about any number of similar initiatives give me hope that we can one day have cheap, renewable energy. Cheap, at least, once economies of scale start driving down the the costs of the items required to capture this energy.

In an earlier post, I touched on piezoelectric roads, and mentioned that I was concerned about increased fuel consumption on those roads. Here is an interesting alternative - a giant network of solar panels - cleverly disguised as streets! It's amazing what advancements in areas of materials manufacture have done for green energy initiatives. Glass roads that can be driven on, and actually have even better traction than asphalt. Even in the rain! (It doesn't hurt that the Brusaws - inventors of Solar Roads have a quote from Walt Disney on the www.solarroads.com home page, either.)

It's a fascinating world we live in, and we should all be doing our part to keep it going for as long as possible. Think about it - generating power from things that are currently just contributing to universal entropy. What an amazing idea that is, and how worth striving for.

The 4th Edition

2008-12-21T11:08:00.002-05:00

So, I have finally gotten around to picking up Dungeons & Dragons, 4th edition. I am still running a D&D 3.5 campaign, which has been going strong for over a year. I've been playing since... let's see... the late 70's, not long after Advanced Dungeons & Dragons was introduced. So, I have seen a lot of versions. Below are some very preliminary thoughts on the basics of the system. There will be more entries related to this, and they will go into more detail.

This one is interesting. There are things that I think are steps in a positive direction, and some I do not like. I really like the fact that they are encouraging a point-based system for character creation, at least as far as stats go. Since the beginning of the game, too much of how good your character ended up being was dependant on the luck of those first rolls. Similarly, giving every class standard hit points at each level makes creating characters along a certain concept easier. No longer will your fighter fall down easily due to a couple of bad hit point rolls. You can conclusively predict how many hit points he will have at each level going forward.

However, they have completely changed the magic system, which was one of the things that always made D&D relatively unique. I think that the current system (abilities that can be used at will, once per encounter or once per day) is strong in some ways, but feels less like the D&D that I always enjoyed playing. Not to say that this system destroys D&D as a game, but for those of us who have been playing for years, it makes it feel less like the system that brought many of us into the RPG hobby.

Another change that is interesting and has pluses and minuses is the idea of all rolling happening by the acting character/object. In the old days of D&D, you used to cast a Fireball, and everyone in the area had to make a saving throw to avoid taking some of the damage, then you rolled dice to determine that damage. In the new system, rather than those in the area making a defensive roll, they all have defensive ratings based on their attributes, and you have to beat those ratings with your attack roll. Quite often, for area-based effects, you still do partial damage on a miss, as long as your target is in the area of effect. This is interesting, and has a real strength in that it lets the players determine the results of their own actions. It also has a couple of drawbacks - again, it feels a little less like D&D, also, it means that when you cross an oil slick, rather than you making a roll to keep your feet, the oil slick makes an "attack roll" to try to make you fall. There is a little bit of a weird mind set there - the oil attacks you? Lastly, as a long time DM, it makes it harder for me to cheat.

As anyone who runs these games knows, sometimes battles don't go the way they "should." Whether that means that an encounter that was not supposed to be challenging for the Players is about to kill them all, or that an encounter that was supposed to be climactic conflict is about to go south, because despite having an 80% chance to resist the spell that a player just cast on them, all of the big bad's 10 henchmen managed to fail the save. This is the kind of time where as a GM, I will cheat (often called "fudging" when the GM does it). Either for or against the players, depending on the situation, and what I think tells the best story. With this new system, it is harder to do so. The players are responsible for the resolution of their actions, with no stop-gap measure for me to adjust things accordingly. I haven't written any adventures for 4th edition yet, so I have no idea if it is easier to balance things so those things are less likely to happen or not.

I'll keep you posted.

Power-Generating Roads

2008-12-15T07:16:00.004-05:00

Okay, another try at blogging. I'm not going to promise to keep this updated as much as I would like, but I'll be trying.

Recently, I have been fascinated with piezoelectric materials (materials which generate electricity when deformed, or alternately deform when electricity is applied to them - follow the link for more detail) and with heel-strike generators (which is a broader term covering both piezoelectric and more traditional mechanical harnessing of the movement of people) as ways of harnessing the power that people naturally put out through their day. Due to this, I was fascinated when a story about Israel converting 100 meters (110 yards for those not fluent in metric) of highway to a piezoelectric generator arrived in my inbox.

This is a really fascinating possibility for harnessing existing traffic into a useful source of power, but it has a couple of downsides in my not-so-humble opinion. The first is that this could very easily increase the energy required to travel over this section of highway, which means that we are turning a relatively scarce resource (gasoline) into something that we have many other ways to generate, many of which are already clean. Sure, the idea is that it is incidentally generated, but that becomes less true if we increase gasoline consumption to generate the power. The second issue is that I think it is fundamentally irresponsible to become more dependent on people driving, at least until hybrids and electrical cars are the rule rather than the exception.

That said, the possibilities of these materials seem practically limitless, including to be used in areas of high pedestrian traffic (running a subway system from the energy of its passengers? Las Vegas casinos running from the power of all the people walking their floors? Dance clubs powering themselves with the energy of dancers?) and perhaps even to power electrical cars, or NEVs within smaller communities. In that case, where we would have electrical vehicles powering themselves, even if they get a little less mileage, it seems to be a very powerful tool.

I know that I am looking forward to the results of this test.

Long time, no post.

2006-04-17T09:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I haven't posted for a while. Sue me.

I went fishing yesterday. Really fishing. Deep sea fishing. I was further out into the ocean than I have ever been on an ocean-going vessel before. Maybe 60 miles (round that off to 100 kilometers for my Canadian friends) from land. We were hoping to hit Snapper or Grouper. We didn't. A few people on the "party boat" we were on did, but still nothing huge. I did catch a grouper, but it was way below the legal limit, and I had to throw it back. I caught a Ruby Red as well, and used it as bait, but it caught nothing. I enjoyed the experience. I might do it again, but not in a rush.

I also got sunburned. Not badly, but unevenly. The left side of my body took much more than the right, because that is the side that was facing the sun for the hour-and-change ride back in from the fishing spots.

I also learned that there can be some really irritating people on fishing party boats. There was one guy on the boat who was trying to sound like an authority on everything. He, unfortunately, did catch something - a 20.5" Red Snapper - .5" over the legal limit. He even looked like an idiot bringing it in. Rather than bracing his pole against one of his hips, he had it braced against his crotch, just above his junk. And he was pretty much doubled over. And his buddy had to help him. It was sad, and of course, on the way back in, I had trouble blocking out his commentary on catching it. Like he was the great hunter, catching a fish that just barely didn't ahve to be thrown back.

Still, the company was good (I went with my boss, Steve, with whom I get along very well), and being out on the ocean was fun. This is the kind of thing I wanted to try when I came down to Florida. I'm glad I got to. And now?

I'm off to get ready for a visit down here from my wife.

Settling anew and some complications therewith

2005-10-22T09:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I am starting to feel settled in my new apartment (I've been living there 3 weeks as of today) but for the fact that my mattress hasn't been delivered yet. I'm still sleeping on my couch.
That is expected in 2 weeks, I believe. Or it might be 3. Doesn't really matter, this couch is comfy enough to hold me that long, and it has a nice cover on it, so it isn't even non-hygenic for me to be sleeping there.
I should also mention, before I go to far, that my apartment complex is under construction right now - they are doing improvements to the outside of the building. Which is nice, but has the somewhat negative side-effect of none of the apartments having numbers on the outside wall right now. I'm in building 4, and while the building number is clearly on the building, I can see how one might have trouble locating my apartment. This, and the fact that I do not yet have a home phone (more on that later) add to the feeling taht I am not completely settled.
I also don't have a dresser yet. Which is okay, I have a big closet (or two) and lots of hangers. (And a shelf above the hanger bar in both closets for underwear and socks, and things that don't hang well) but this is a little less convenient than a dresser. I don't have a proper entertainment centre, either, but a few 5 foot long 2X8's and some bricks are handling that quite nicely.
So, it doesn't quite feel entirely like home yet, kind of like I am still floating a bit, but that feeling is dissipating day by day, as I do all the normal menial tasks, like cooking meals, taking out garbage and doing laundry.
At least I do have a computer desk, with internet connection working now. Getting that internet connection was a pain. Down here, there is one company (Brighthouse, who I understand is a WB subsidiary) who offers cable and internet packages. I chose to go with Earthlink as my ISP (it really doesn't matter - I am going to stick with gmail as my e-mail address, so any of the three they offer will work. I just knew I wasn't going with AOL) and also ordered HBO and Cinemax. After the first Birghthouse-contracted tech (who arrived on time, at the very beginning of his 3-hour window, much to my shock, coming from Toronto, where such a thing is unheard of) got done, I checked my internet and watched some TV. A little later in the day, I realized that my digital channels (HBO and Cinemax) were not working. I e-mailed Brighthouse and got an appointment set up for the next day.
That technician (a different one) arrived (on time again!) and installed a booster right where the cable came into my house - before the cable modem. The digital channels looked good. I'd be able to watch movies and such to my heart's content. Unfortunately, he made a little mistake when installing the booster, and blew my cable modem. Not a big deal, he had another one in the truck. He went and got it, and installed it, and we still couldn't get a connection. So, he called in to the office, to get them to send a clearing signal to my modem, at which time they informed him that there was an enormous outage in the Brighthouse network.
Okay, I had to go out anyway, so I told him "that's fine, I can just check it out later when I get home." I got home kind of late that night, so I didn't check it that night, but did look in the computer room and noticed that the modem was off, which was not how I had left it.
The next morning, Tuesday, I hooked it up. It worked. Yay! 10 minutes later or so, however, the modem shut off. I reset it, and it lasted about 6 minutes this time.
I went in to work, and e-mailed the nature of the issue to Brighthouse, asking them to set up an appointment for the following Sunday, between 8am and 11am to come replace the modem. I told them at the time "I have no home phone right now, so don't bother calling ahead - the last number you have on record for me is a hotel I was staying at." They replied, and the appointment was set. Keep in mind as you read the entries below that each time I spoke to someone, or e-mailed them I explained the problem: the modem shuts itself off after a brief period of connectivity.
Flash forward to Sunday, 7:30 AM. I put an 11X17 piece of paper in my windown that said, "Brighthouse, this is Apartment 4-11" with an arrow pointing to the door (just in case they were unsure of which apartment the window belonged to.
Flash forward again to Sunday at 12:15 pm. I am at the local Publix grocery store, on a pay phone. "Hi, I was supposed to have an appointment between 8 and 11, and the tech never showed up."
"OK, let's see what happened there. Hmmm... it says he called and the number wasn't valid."
"Yes, I mentioned in my e-mail when placing the original call that I didn't have a home phone, and there would be no point in calling ahead."
"Oh, ok. It also says there were no numbers on the building so he couldn't find the apartment."
"Then he missed the 11 by 17 inch sign in the window?" I said it with only a touch of irony - I wasn't really mad here, just a little irritated, as I did have other things to do.
"I guess he must have."
"Okay, so what do we do about this?"
"Well, let me talk to my supervisor."
"Sure. Thanks."
... On Hold ...
"Sir? My Supervisor put you in the 'All Day' queue."
"Which means what?"
"It means that there will be a technician there before 6pm."
"Well... okay. I guess that'll have to do. Thanks."
"Is there any thing else I can do for you sir?"
"Nope. Thanks."

So, I head back to my house to wait, but also put another sign up in another window. Now, it was a pretty windy day, and I had no tape in the apartment, so it was clear to me I couldn't take my preferred solution - to put a big sign up on the door. And I didn't dare go out and buy tape - I might miss them.
Okay, now it is 6:20 and I am back on the same pay phone.
"It appears that the tech cancelled the appointment."
"I... see. And why did he do that?"
"Well, he tried to call and..."
"Yeah. Can I speak to your supervisor please?"
"Sure."

So, then I am online with a supervisor - a nice guy, who seemed to genuinely feel bad that I was stuck in my house for 10 hours waiting for a tech that never showed up.

"Okay, I will put you at the very top of tomorrow's 8am timeslot."
"With a note to not bother calling, since there is no home phone, and will not be until I am done with this issue, since I am going to be using VOIP?"
"Yes."
"Okay, thanks."

Flash forward to 11:15 the next morning, finding me at the same pay phone. (I waited that long, because I figured these techs might sometimes re-arrange their load to make their time more efficient.)

"Yeah, still no tech." This to another supervisor - I was too mad at this point to deal with another front-line person - they didn't get paid enough to put up with me at this point.
"Hmmm... let's see here... he cancelled the appointment."
"Let me guess, he didn't notice the note not to bother calling, tried to call and the nubmer was invalid, then he came by, failed to notice the two 11X17 signs in the windows saying what apartment it was, couldn't find the apartment and so cancelled it."
"Ummm... yes, that's what it looks like."
"Okay, so what are you going to do about this?"
"Well, I could put you on top of the list for tomorrow morning..."
"I work tomorrow. And, now, put yourself in my shoes. Despite the fact that last weekend, two techs were able to find my apartment, this appointment has been cancelled three time in two days because the tech cannot find it. If you were me, do you think going for 4 times in 3 days is the best solution?"
"Well, no..."
"So you're telling me that I will be another week without internet because you people can't replace a modem?"
"Sir, if you'd like, you can go to a Brighthouse office, and they will replace your modem."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"If you are sure it is the modem, you can just take your current modem into one of our offices, and they'll replace it on the spot."
"Where is the nearest office?"
"Given your address, there is one at (names location less than 10 minutes away)."
"Okay. At this point, I would love to go over there, and spare myself another 13 hours of sitting around waiting for a technician to not show up."
"And I've also credited your account with a $20 credit because the tech was late."
"What are you're office's hours?"
"They're open until 5:30 today" there was a note of surprise or something in his voice - I think he actually expected me to be greatful at this point that they had just paid me a little less than $1.54 an hour to wait for them.

Half an hour later, I had reliable internet access. And only 5.5 days longer than it should have taken!

Now to figure out why Vonage hasn't delivered their adaptor to me yet.

Nice Neighbourhood

2005-09-27T17:48:00.000-04:00

So... I think I saw a guy using the hotel I am staying in as a no-tell motel last night. He was complaining that the Days Inn up the street wouldn't let him rent there because he is a local. When I walked into the office, he was with a reasonably attractive woman, who was wearing a fairly revealing top. Thing is, that's not uncommon down here. Quite the opposite, in fact. You see, it's hot. Men wear wife beaters, and so do their wives. So, really the only reason that I suspect this is that buddy (who was wearing a wife beater) was renting a room at a cheap-ish motel, paying in cash, and seemed to know renting motel rooms pretty well, since when he was telling me that the other day, he couldn't get a motel room from the Days Inn which was weird, as he had been rented one from the woman who runs the place a couple of days earlier.

And, of course, the first night I got in, I went for a little drive to get to know the area, and saw a prostitue who actually hailed me like I was a cab. As you might guess, I didn't head over. Now, this wasn't the same girl (I didn't get a good look at either, but one was black and the other white, so I'm pretty sure) but there is certainly evidence that such goings on happen in the neighbourhood I am currently living in.

The area I am moving to is supposed to be nicer, though. After all, it is right on a private golf course. And there are no cheap motels right in the area. The only thing in the area other than the golf course of note is the Middle School. So, I am looking forward to this weekend's move for several reasons.

I also went to see a movie yesterday - Cry_Wolf. Not the greatest movie ever made, but if you like horror movies, certainly not bad either. I'm also a little bit of a fan of Lindy Booth. If you ever watched Relic Hunter, where Tia Carrere did her best Lara Croft impression, you might know her as the secretary Claudia, although she was replaced in the last season by Tanya Reichert, a woman who may be more what some think of when they hear beautiful, but who I didn't find had the personality that Lindy did. However, Tanya scores some cool points by showing up in Club Dread. She's one of the girls going with the guy for the threesome at the beginning of the film. I find Lindy to be charming on screen. I have seen many of her films, not necessarily because she was in them, but because they interested me anyway. She has a certain ingenue quality, which she often plays against. Her voice and face are particularly innocent, but her eyes can be very knowing. She was outstanding in Century Hotel, which I highly recommend if you like interesting, vignette-type movies. She was very good in Cry_Wolf too. As was Jon Bon Jovi.

But I didn't start talking about it to talk about the actors, though I obviously could for hours. (I'm like that) I wanted to talk about the theatre. It is called the Oaks Paradise 10 or somesuch, and what a great place to watch a film. The seating was comfortable, even for a "plus sized" guy like myself. A matinee is $5.00. I didn't buy any popcorn, but if I had gone whole hog and bought a bucket that would fit over my head (with no exaggeration) and a large drink (also a sizeable beverage) the whole thing would have cost me about $14. Which is about what a ticket costs in Toronto. (Now, granted, the whole exchange thing figures in, but still..) The decor was tasteful. The doors were all wood, with brass handles, the washrooms clean. It was a great experience. I am looking forward to the next time I get to see a movie out there.

And that is it, with the good and the not-so-good of my stay here in Florida from yesterday.

Later, peeps!

Go South, not-so-young man!

2005-09-24T16:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, it has been forever and a day since I last updated this or my comic book blog, Infinite Opinions. There is a reason for this: My life has changed.

Unlike many, who blog about their lives, I had reached a point where the only thing consuming me could not be publicly discussed. I was getting ready, thanks to an offer from a company in Melbourne, Florida, to move there. People I work with might be reading this blog, and I didn't want to tip my hand too early, and hurt my career there, in case this move didn't work out.

And so I have. I said goodbye to my friends, and to my wife, for about a year, not counting visits, and headed down here. The choice was tough. I had been at my last job for so long that I'll miss it quite a bit. But, three days of driving later (I had to be careful with the speed - I was towing a trailer) here I am, living in a dingy motel for another week until I can move into my apartment. Then, at last, I will be really here.

Which is when I expect the missing people to start to settle in. So far, I do miss my wife, but more in a "I went on vacation without her" way than a "we won't be living together for a year" kind of way - although I did cry when I drove away from her to start my journey. I expect the full impact to hit me once I have settled down here, though.

I do feel somewhat badly - I didn't give any good-bye speeches, even at the events that people organized for me - for fear that I would start crying, or start others crying that would be a chain reaction and we'd all float out of the bar we were at on a salty river of tears. I don't tend to be demonstrative when it comes to my emotions, but this was definitely tough on me.

By the way, for what it is worth, I will, and do, miss you all. The hardest part of having this dream is knowing that it meant walking away from the best friends a guy could possibly ask for. You've all been there for me when I needed you, and I know you always will be. Anytime after the 1st of October, you are welcome to come visit me in my new apartment, right on a golf course, here in beautiful Florida. Although, for the nervous among ye, you might want to wait for hurricane season to end, although Melbourne typically doesn't get it too badly.

Anyway, right now, I do not have internet at home, so don't expect regular updates. But once I am all set up, I should have a little more time on my hands than I have of late.

Weather's great. Wish you were here.

Things that are too geeky, even for me...

2005-06-25T07:21:00.000-04:00

Okay, a word to all of those fan boys out there: I was just on a message board about a Collectible Card Game (yes, I am a gaming geek, computer geek, comic geek and movie geek... You haven't figured that out yet?) and there was a heated discussion as to who would win in a fight, Batman or Dr. Doom.

These characters are definitely two of the cooler characters ever to be written into comics, I guess I can see why people would be interested in seeing a comic where the two go at it, but when these questions are debated, I am always shocked by the stupidity of it. (The answer, by the way is, no matter who we are talking about as the characters, whoever advances the writer's story right now.)

I try to picture two professors, knowledgeable in the beliefs of ancient man debating if Ra could kick Zeus' ass or something... It blows my mind. (Zeus would totally win, by the way.)

It's amazing how many times I have heard variations on this kind of discussion at a comic shop, or seen it on various boards around the internet. It brings to mind childhood taunts of "my daddy can beat up your daddy," only in this case it's more like "my fictional daddy can beat up your fictional daddy."

There are a lot of us who enjoy the hobbies I do, and live otherwise normal lives. Then there are those who are way beyond my own level of enjoyment. I attended GenCon one year. That is (or was, at the time) the biggest Role Playing Game (think Dungeons & Dragons for those of you who don't know what a role playing game is outside of the bedroom) convention in the world. It was fun. I was travelling with some good people. But some of the people who share my hobby with me frighten me. I played in a DC Heroes game, a Role Playing Game (hereafter RPG) based on the heroes of DC Comics. The characters we were playing were based on a series called "The Young All Stars." Being a fan of the series, I was quite looking forward to it. That I ended up getting the wussiest of all the characters in the series, Danny the Dyna-mite as my character (no, I'm not kidding) did little to dull my enthusiasm. On the other had, the guy who was sitting next to me - so pale as to make one assume he was the stereotypical guy living in his parent's basement, and with the entire series of Young All Stars comics in tow, in a comic box, each issue meticulously placed in a comic bag, supported by an acid-free cardboard backing - was one of the people who made me realize that maybe gaming conventions weren't the place for me. On some level, I can respect his passion, but not sharing it, I think maybe I don't need to participate in the same activities as him.

Anyhow, there really isn't much point to this, just an observation that I have noticed about behaviour that I find ridiculous. And before you point out that I am mocking those even geekier than myself - a behaviour I blasted in my previous entry, allow me to point out that no where in this post do I do so. I mock a behaviour for its pointlessness.

And by the way? Batman can definitely beat up your daddy.

Revenge of the Sith observations - spoiler free

2005-05-19T08:23:00.000-04:00

A word on the title - this is only spoiler free if you have seen the first 5 films. If you haven't, then there are some spoilers below, particularly ones that might affect your enjoyment of the end of Empire Strikes Back. If you want to avoid them, stop reading at the paragraph that starts with "The movie itself was a fitting end."

I had the extreme pleasure of catching the 12:01 show of Revenge of the Sith with some friends Wednesday night/Thursday morning. It was something to be a part of. The last of the Star Wars films. Ever. One of the guys I was with also had the pleasure of seeing the sneak preview at 7:30 downtown, and then headed out to see it again with us. Yup, we're kind of geeks.

But how could I not be? My first memories of a movie were of being so scared by Star Wars when Darth Vader makes his entrance to that now-famous music that I hid my face so I didn't have to watch. (I scared easily as a child, and I was 5 and-a-half when I saw it.) Then, when it was over, I wanted to stay and watch it again.

I have no specific memory of the circumstances surrounding my first viewing of Empire, but I remember leaving school early, and being driven by a friend's mother to see Jedi at the Runnymede theatre (now a Chapters) when I was 12 and it was opening day. I also have fond memories of watching a double feature of Star Wars and Empire not long before that with some friends, to refresh the movies in our minds - like we needed it.

I loved those movies. I loved the characters. When Han Solo got frozen in carbonite, I went home, and took my Boba Fett action figure, put him in a cup of water, and put that in the freezer. (My mom loves that story.) Boba Fett has since become one of my favourite characters in the whole sextet of movies.

I camped out (in shifts with some others, including my wife who was as anxious as I to see it - if not more so) to buy tickets to Episode I. I will admit to being disappointed, compared to what I remembered, compared to the ideals these movies had become to me. But it didn't matter. I bought the DVD, and I have seen that movie a number of times as well.

When Episode II came out, I didn't camp out, but there I was, loyally, at the midnight show on opening day. Again it fell short of my (possibly unfair) expectations. A good movie, lots of cool effects, and some amazing battles, but not a stellar link in the Star Wars chain. We saw this at a theatre on the North side of town, and the press were there, and there were people dressed up. It was something. A great experience made even more so by the people who were there with me.

So now, Episode III has hit the theatres, and again, I lined up at 6:30 pm or so for the 12:01 am show. (For the record, we were not first in line, there were two guys ahead of us) There were a few people in costume, really hard-core fans who had been down to Indiana for Star Wars Celebration III who tried to get some of the audience involved in a little pre-movie fun. Unfortunately, they were not the most charismatic of figures, and it didn't go over well, and they were heckled. And this is the point I wanted to make: One of the hecklers, when it was described which group (Halton FanForce, I think it was) these people were from yelled, "That is the nerdiest thing ever!" To much laughter. Now, the spokesperson for the group was a woman, in her mid-to-late 20's who was there with her son, who she said was 9. So not only are people mocking her in front of her son, but here we are, sitting in a midnight show for a movie, which would lose nothing by being seen 19 hours later, when most people who aren't nerds would see it, and we (as a group) are heckling someone for being more nerdy? Where is the line? Apparently doing without sleep to be the first to see the movie is cool, but being into it enough to dress up and let the excitement take you is too far. Many of the people who were there were probably mocked at some point in their lives for being nerds or geeks. Yet, the feel the need to draw some bullshit line as far as how geeky is okay, and throw that same abuse downward. I was embarrassed for the girl, and for her son. Fortunately, I really needn't have been. They didn't let it bother them. And it was forgotten when the movie started.

The movie itself was a fitting end (or is that mid-point?) to the saga of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. The dialogue was trademark Lucas. That is to say, not great. The acting was better from the main players than in any either of the previous films, and was certainly enough to keep you involved. All the loose ends required to move from the first trilogy to the second are tied up.

One of the really interesting things about this film is the theme that the wrong choices can be made for the right reasons. It happens throughout this trilogy. Jar-Jar Binks (the much-maligned Gungan whose presence in this one is almost nil) is responsible in Attack of the Clones for helping the Chancellor create a clone army to fight on the Senate's war. The imagery here is clear - these guys are destined to become the Storm Troopers one day. Jar-Jar wasn't sitting there thinking "I know, I'll help to create an army that will enslave and kill the whole galaxy one day." He was thinking "we need to be protected. I will hand a little power to the government to do so." This is not unlike modern politics in the USA. The Patriot Act is a little power handed to the Government at the cost of some freedoms. Now, I'm not trying to compare the Emperor to Bush (though I wouldn't swear that Lucas wouldn't draw that comparison at this point) but it is interesting the way the movies parallel some modern themes.

This is Anakin's story as well, in many ways - he makes the wrong choices, but for the right reasons. This is why his fall is all the more telling. Saying anything more would definitely take me into the realm of spoilers though. So just allow me to say that this movie has a mature and interesting, if somewhat dark theme, and tone to it.

Overall, this was an excellent watch, and while it still didn't hit the heights of Empire Strikes Back, it was certainly the best of Episodes I through III in my opinion, and may be the third best of the series, behind Episodes V and IV. I highly recommend it to any fan of Star Wars, or anyone who used to be a fan, but was left feeling cold by the last two.

May the Force be with you. Always.

Survivor Finale

2005-05-16T06:01:00.000-04:00

Man, I don't think I could ever win Survivor. Among the obvious reasons, like not wanting to do without food. and such, I do not think I could handle the utter self-righteousness of people who do not deserve it at the final tribal council. I'd blow up at them.

If you haven't watched the final episode of Survivor: Palau and care who won, read no further... there will be spoilers.

It actually started well before the final Tribal Council. Katie, who had tried by this point at least twice to kick Ian off of the Island, and who had eliminated him from an reward challenge in which you got to choose your target, was really upset that Ian hadn't taken her on a reward challenge trip with him, because he said he would. She was in tears, and reduced Ian to tears as well, since he had betrayed her. Hello? Weren't you the one who was into the all-women's alliance to remove Tom and Ian, until it went south thanks to Caryn? Didn't you, right after eliminating the rock-solid ally of yours from the reward challenge agree with Greg and Jenn to vote Tom then Ian out as soon as you were at five people left? Where the hell do you get off being upset at someone else for playing the game, and for "betraying" you?

Similarly, Greg was planning on voting Tom out when they were at six people, rather than at 5 where they agreed all bets were off. Tom and Ian saw it coming, and with the help of Caryn and a little last-minute strong arm of Katie, voted Greg out instead. Yet Greg's moment at tribal council was to call Tom on the carpet at that final Tribal Council demanding to know why Tom didn't honour their deal. It must have been hard for Tom not to say, "Gee, Greg. I guess for the same reason you lied to me, Mr.'at least I left with my integrity intact.'" I know I would have had a really hard time.

Season after season, there is a parade of people who tried to lie and manipulate their way to the top and failed, who when they get up there, and aren't being judged by those around them like the final two are, make a big deal out of the deceptions of the two who made it while taking a moral high ground, based on deception or at the very least, a very different view of history than what has been recorded on national television. Katie might have been one of the worst, and least deserving final two in history. But at least she admitted every flip-flop, every questionable move was a part of a strategy to win a game, and didn't try to hide behind some non-existent veneer of honesty.

Or of omniscience. Coby claimed that he "was looking for honesty tonight, and didn't get it from Tom." This is another recurring theme. That somehow those who have been eliminated know everything that went on, and that the view they have decided on is the only possible version of the truth. Tom did answer Coby honestly, it just wasn't what Coby wanted to hear. And if you go back through the history of Survivor, there seems to be at least one question of this sort per game, and usually with the same "I know what the truth is, regardless of if I have any way to tell" filter in place.

My only regret is that Steph, who may have been the most deserving person of the title of Survivor in the history of the game didn't get a chance to meet Tom at tribal council. Ian showed a great deal of character, I thought, in the way that he came in third, particularly because I think he could have won that challenge and been sitting at the final tribal council with Katie, who I think he could have beaten.

But still, as it was, the person who won was probably the most deserving of everyone in this game. I'm just sorry Wanda didn't compose an ode to Tom as her tribute to his victory.

Howard Stern... Enemy of the State?

2005-05-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, so usually I am pretty quick to discount Howard Stern's "everyone is out to get me" paranoid ranting as a by-product of his megalomania. The fact is, the man is inordinately talented (whether that talent lends itself to an area you can appreciate or not), and has the listeners and ratings to prove it. But he is also an egomaniac. I don't think he could be as succesful as he is if he weren't. He has signed a 5-year, $500 Million contract with Sirius Satellite Radio to move over there as soon as his contract with Viacom-owned Infinity Broadcasting is up at the end of the year.

Now, satellite radio has been on the scene for years, and the FCC has never tried to police its content. In early April of 2005, new FCC boss Kevin Martin said that satellite radio needs to start policing its own content so the FCC doesn't have to. I suppose it's possible that this is just coincidental timing, but it does seem like since the biggest radio personality in the history of the medium is moving to satellite, who the FCC already has a beef with, they are turning their sights that way.

Keep in mind - this is a subscription service. If one doesn't want one's kids listening, one only needs not subscribe. But yet the FCC is thinking of targeting this industry for policing. This accomplishes two things as far as I can tell:

Makes the FCC seem petty and small. They wanted Stern's obscenity off of public airwaves. They won. Stern himself, being the megalomaniac he is would never admit it, but the fines and hardship they have brought to bear on the companies that carry Stern's show have made it impossible for Stern to really do his show as he would like to on public airwaves right now. Agree with their motivations or don't, (and to me, this is a slippery topic - some of what Stern does isn't appropirate for all ages., and part of his show is on at a time when parents are at work, and kid could be sitting with a radio, outside of his parents' influence listening - if this show were on later in the evening when this situation is less likely, I would come down entirely on Stern's side. As is, I am still somewhat undecided) it looks to me like they have accomplished their goal of "cleaning up the airwaves" as it was originally stated. Stern is leaving, and other imitators (Opie and Anthony for example) have already been chased to satellite. Other people (Don and Mike for instance) have cleaned up their show, or as Don & Mike put it, are now running "non-bleu." (Which, by the way is hilarious when Mike O'Meara delivers it in his Wayne Newton impression) Regardless of which way things are working, the public airwaves are headed in the direction the FCC has determined is best for the population of the United States of America. Yet here they are, chasing a grudge. This makes the work they are doing seem less well-intentioned and makes them look like they really are out to get Stern. Which brings us to...
Brings Stern more interest. I would say that it martyrs him, but I don't think even the FCC has the power to kill the juggernaut that is the Howard Stern Show. I'll tell you this much, though. If the FCC wasn't teetering dangerously close to what I see as a serious attack on free speech, then I wouldn't be writing this entry about Stern. Not that my little blog entry is going to bring him a ton more listeners, but the fact of the matter is that this is big news. And the news will never be told without Stern's name attached to it. There is no doubt in my mind that Stern will be worth every penny that Sirius is paying him. And the FCC will be helpnig him make sure of that.

It was said by Pierre Elliot Trudeau, one of the more famous and longest Prime Ministers here in Canada that, "The state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation." He was right, and by moving from public radio, Stern is moving from the street corners in public view into the nation's bedrooms. The FCC needs to understand that they have no place there, and should accept the victory they have won. Otherwise, they are giving David exactly the sling bullet he needs to take down Goliath. And Stern would like nothing better to put it right between their eyes. While lesbians kiss in the background.

Instinctive Irritations

2005-05-05T08:58:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have a theory: People aren't necessarily rude or ignorant, but rather are driven by instinct to do things that serve them well, potentially at the expense of the rest of society. We are driving these instincts out of people (for better or worse is a topic for a different time) as much as we can, but some still remain, in areas that we tend to ignore.

Today, I will address an issue that many of you have wondered about, but dismissed it with a shrug and a "people are stupid." Here it is: why do people stop in doorways? At parties, in shopping malls, at the door to your lunchroom at work, in meeting rooms, people do it. They stop in the one area guaranteed to be most disruptive to those around them. Why? Are they just idiots who don't know better? No, I 've observed that behaviour in people who both are intelligent, and typically polite. My theory is... wait for it... it's instinctive. A doorway is an easily protected space. If you know what is on one side of the doorway, and can put your back to that area safely, you can only be attacked by roughly a 90 degree arc. You can't be flanked at all! This kind of thing had to be a motivator for our (very distant) ancestors. It is bred into us to find security, and not even necessarily on a conscious level. Not to mention, it also allows for the possibility of running away. A doorway, my friends, is beneficial to which of the fight-or-flight reflex one follows in the case of a threat.

I know what you are thinking: "Wow... this guy's an idiot." Okay, maybe not. Maybe you are thinking: "Hey... he might be on to something. Someone should do a study." I have it all planned. We will monitor heart rates, observe body language and such of people talking in doorways, and in open spaces. The only problem is, all the study money is going to studies making such ground-breaking conclusions as "Men who have sex are happier," or "Homeless people in cold climates die earlier,on average, than people with homes," or "inhaling smoke is bad for you." There are tons of those kinds of studies being done. But mine never will. Of course, I have to admit that is quite possibly because I will never persue it beyond this page. Anyone out there know any Psych students? This might make an interesting paper for them. And lord knows they could just plagiarize this and hand it in, as it should be apparent that I hold all of my ideas up to the strictest standards of scholastic verification before posting them on the internet. After all, I wouldn't want to be the only person to put complete and utter crap out there on the web.

Next time someone does something that you consider stupid, stop and think... is it a pattern? Might there be a reason they do this? In many cases you will find the answer to be: "Nope. They're just an idiot." But those times, few and far between as you might find them to be, where there might be other forces afoot... Those are the things blog entries are made of.

Disney Calling

2005-05-02T20:11:00.000-04:00

So, I spent a decent chunk of yesterday working with some friends to pick the restaurants that we will be eating at a little under 100 days from now. Yep. Restaurants a hundred days in advance. And that is nothing. I made one of the reservations for that time frame months ago.

Why, you might ask, am I planning a few meals so far in advance? The answer, my friends is Walt Disney World. For all my inherent curmugeonliness, I love it there. It actually has the ability to render me pleasant for extended periods of time. I know that sounds hard to believe, but it is true.

Part of the reason I love it so much is the food. I love food (by the way, if anyone is keeping score, I'm less fat, having lost 5 pounds, and a percent of body fat in the last week - funny, getting off my ass and exercising seems to be helping) . Some of the best meals I have ever eaten were at Walt Disney World. There is a restaurant there, that isn't cheap, but is the only 5 star restaurant in Orlando. It is called Victoria & Albert's. All the waitresses introduce themselves as Victoria, and all the waiters as Albert. It's a prix fixe 7-course meal. This time, when we go, we are eating at the Chef's Table. At least my wife and I are. The meal is so expensive, I'm almost embarrassed. But it includes 7 courses of the best food I've ever eaten, and matching equally exquisite wine selections. But here is the good news: All the rest of the meals we have chosen also promise to be excellent. Even the places I haven't eaten at before look very promising. The biggest challenge in some of these places will be whether to try something new or stick with an old favourite. The Hollywood Brown Derby, for instance, makes an amazing Ahi Tuna. I know that, and I think about it often. But they have so many things on their menu that look great.

My wife hadn't started really looking forward to the trip until yesterday. She also loves the food there, so just thinking about it got her in the mood to go again. We're a little under 100 days to arrival, and I am excited already.

Beyond the food, Disney will be all geared up for "The Happiest Celebration on Earth," a celebration of 50 years of Disney parks (since Disneyland over in California opened). There is all kinds of stuff being set up in Disney World specifically for this. It promises to be quite exceptional.

And hey, maybe while we are there, we'll drop a finger in one of our meals and make a few extra bucks...

Dumb litigants lose out.

2005-04-29T15:22:00.000-04:00

Okay, one of the things that drives me most nuts about society right now, particularly in the US, but not exclusively so, is the tendency towards litigation. I know I have written about this previously, but there have been two cases recently that seem to be ending right, and I thought I'd share them with all of you.

The finger in the Wendy's Chili: I know I mentioned this a few days ago, but I wanted to reiterate it here: This woman has been arrested for fraud. After what appears to be a pretty exhuastive investigation by Wendy's that concluded that no one anywhere in the supply chain from Slaugherhouse to Server had lost a digit, not had anyone working anywhere the chili had been. I still really want to know where the digit came from, though. This woman had made practically a career of trying to sue companies to not have to work. And she scammed a woman by selling her a trailer she didn't have the right to sell. But she does have balls. She sat there with the woman, who didn't speak english, and a Sales Agent, who only spoke english and translated what was being said into what she wanted the other to hear. Whatever, though, I only wish there was a way that Wendy's could get back the drop in sales that have been attributed to this "discovery."
Finding Nemo: There was a guy in France who wrote a story called Pierrot, the Smiling Clownfish. It was about a little clownfish who had lost his family. He claims he registered the story long before Finding Nemo was around. He didn't publish it until after the movie was out in France, but he says that Disney still stole his idea. The court looked in to it. The story was not registered in advance. There is no evidence supporting any conclusion other than Pierrot being inspired by Nemo. So, the court nailed him for fraud, in thist stupid lawsuit.

And here is the thing. We need to not encourage people to think that "if I want to live well for the rest of my life, all I have to do is to sue Large Company X." That is not cool. Work hard and try to earn the living you want. Don't be part of the problem.

On the other hand, we don't want companies coming down on the little guy and abusing him. Reasonable lawsuits are necessary. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the problem is punitive damages. Yes, such a lawsuit has to cost the company enough to be a deterrent. But, don't give the person who is suing the money for punitive datamges, instead give it to a charity or something, in some semblance of "let the punishment fit the crime." That way, slipping a finger into your chili will be less attractive to people. And really, that can only be a good thing. After all, do you know where that finger has been?

Mortality Musings

2005-04-28T13:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, so when I went a month without blogging, there were reasons beyond work, and some of the things that are plaguing me that I cannot talk about here, lest releasing my hideous knowledge on the world cause it to rupture in twain. Or in case there are people out there who shouldn't know what I am thinking about.

It was also a time of some personal issues. My father fell on the ice and broke his leg. That was earlier than I stopped writing, but it had a much greater effect on my than I would have thought. I'm lucky. There are a lot of bad parents out there, and I got none of 'em. Any of my friends would be quick to support that. My parents are not only supportive and helpful, but also relatively cool, as far as parents go. (I hope my kids, should we choose to have any, can one day be equally equivocal about my coolness.)

My father is pretty important to me. I don't have a lot of heroes in this life, but he is one. The thought that he is breakable - that I might lose him one day - hit home a lot harder than I thought it would. I mean, I'm a smart guy, and a realist. I know that my parents won't always be here. But it still catches you off guard when you are confronted with it. Here is a man who has always seemed larger-than-life to me. The fact of the matter is that while he is a bit taller than me, I am broader, and overall bigger than he these days. But I still feel as though his presence far outweighs my own. It isn't easy for me to think of a time without that presence around.

This entry is much less edgy, and far sappier than what I expected this blog to contain, but I thought that I should write out one of the things that was blocking my other writing, in the hopes of freeing up that block. Much like the one he has in his leg right now. He developed a blood clot from wearing the cast, which has since been removed. Unfortunately, there were some problems with the treatment, and after a month, he is basically back at square one for it. Blood clots are scary things. I know I'm scared anyway, and for those of you who know me, you know how seldom I feel anything like scared. My arrogance, and indeed the very attributes that help make me that way take the fear out of many situations. Now, I'm faced with a situation I can do nothing about, and which has perhaps the most frightening potential consequences I have ever had to deal with.

Of course, he seems to be fine, and is carrying on like everything is cool. I know he is right, after all, he is my father, and he's never steered me wrong, right? Right?

Politics - How do you stand?

2005-04-27T13:36:00.000-04:00

So here's the question: why is it that people on both sides of the political fence tend to characterize the other in some kind of negative way. For my environment (Canada, specifically Toronto) I am definitely right of center. This has made me sensitive to the proliferation of terms that equate being on the right with being insane. And the same thing exists the other way. "Conservative Whack-job," "Pinko Liberal," "Right-wing nut," "Bleeding heart liberal."

I'm wondering why it is that we seem to be unable to respect the fact that others have different opinions than us. I have friends who are well left of where I am, but are still intelligent, decent human beings. I may think they are a little naive, or even misguided, but I know them well enough to know that their heart is in the right place. I hope they can have the same opinion about me. The problem is that this polarizing ends up leading to one of the worst things in politics - parties automatically gainsaying what the other person says, regardless of its merit.

For a good example from up here in Canada, some years ago, Pierre Trudeau, then Prime Minister and leader of the Liberal party wanted to introduce Free Trade with the USA. The PC party (Progressive Conservatives, for those not familiar with Canadian political terms) were dead-set against it. Some years later, Brian Mulroney, leader of the PC part proposed... yep. Free Trade with the USA. So, not only was the party that was strongly against something 10 years before now for it, but also, the very party that thought this legislation was the cat's ass a few years ago was up there saying "This is the worst idea in the history of bad ideas."

How can a rational human being trust either of these parties? I mean, what they stand for depends on who is in power, and what that guy stands for, far more than anything they believe for themselves. Note to the parties in question: We're on to you.

But really, is there any topic more divisive, with the possible exception of religion? Next time you read about/talk to someone with a very different viewpoint than you have, stop and think about what they are saying before you dismiss it out of hand because they are a "Whatever-Wing Whatever." Some of the most brilliant people in history have come from both sides of the political spectrum, while at the same time Stalin was an extreme lefty to Mussolini's extreme right.

Okay, so it was a month-long interlude

2005-04-26T06:07:00.000-04:00

The serious interlude lasted a little longer than I thought it would. For a number of reasons. One of those reasons is that I was often doing these updates from work, on my lunch hour. For the last four weeks, we have been fighting a number of issues at work that have made such quaint ideas as a "lunch hour" seem like that night where you had a lot to drink, and you know that some stuff happened, but need friends to verify the reality of it.

The other thing is a struggle I have been having with the very nature of my blog. Those of you who I have sent this link to know most everything about me. The conundrum is what about those who might happen upon it through other means? There are things I'd like to say, but will not, lest the wrong person read them. Some of these thoughts have been consuming my consciousness of late like a hungry dog consumes.... well... anything. (See? I'm trying out similes. Let me know how it's working. I'm still trying to find the correct prosaic voice for this stuff.)

But there are a few things I can discuss that have been fluttering in my field of vision of late:

I'm fat. Weighed myself yesterday. 255.5 lbs and 37.5% body fat. Of course, that was the start of a diet/exercise program that I hope gets me to a point where I am more comfortable. The first part will take some discipline. I hate exercising. I love playing sports, riding a bike, etc. I'm just in no shape to do this right now. So, the discipline comes in just doing Aerobics and such enough to be able to go back to doing that stuff. Maybe before too long I'll be taking a martial arts class or something. Oh, and shut up with that "255? Damn! You are fat!" crap. I know, that is why I am doing something about it.
I'm going to Walt Disney World. Not soon enough. It's about 100 days away (were I doing this at work, I'd have an exact number for you - I have a counter installed there) and I'm going with Reay and Jackie, as well as my wife. I love that place like a virgin loves his beat-off rag. (Okay, that one might have been a little much... I blame National Lampoon's Dorm Daze. There's a guy in that who named his beat-off rag. Remember the fat kid from The Sandlot? He isn't fat anymore. ) The trip ain't cheap, but I know that it'll be worth every penny to me. I just hope that Reay and Jackie find it to be so too. My only concern is that we will be there in early August, and it'll be hotter than Hades. Not to mention some of us just think about going out in the sun and we burn. But, a little caution and everything will be fine.
The Wendy's Finger in the chili lawsuit. This woman is as sharp as a bag of wet hair. Tests were done which showed the finger hadn't been coked at 170 degrees for 10 minutes or however long Wendy's cooks their chili. Does she not have a TV? Everyone out there has seen an episode of CSI. There was no way they wouldn't have discovered that eventually. So now she is under arrest, and the big question is: "Where did that 1.5 finger tip come from? "
Wednesday night movies. A friend and I (the aforementioned Reay) have made a deal with each other - every Wednesday we will go and see a movie. Now, of course, the deal is not such that all other Wednesday activities must be ignored, but we both hold it as a high priority that we do this. And it has been great. Depending on the movie, we have gone just the two of us, or with friends. Either way, I have seen some movies I mightn't have had a chance to otherwise, and had a good time. See, the beauty of the arrangement is that we don't care about other people's opinions. Not even Tracy, my wife, or Jackie, Reay's girlfriend. The arrangement is that we will choose a film, and then pass along an invitation to others, who are given only a yes or no option. No "well, how about at this other theatre" or "could we catch a later show" or anything like that. We simply say "We are seeing X at Y theater at Z time. Would you like to join us?" It has worked out well. I look forward to it. Of course, given item number 1, I'm gonna cut back on the popcorn.

Okay, that is it for this long-ass entry. I'd say I'm sorry about the delay between entries, but I'm not. Hopefully this one will get me back in the habit.

A serious interlude

2005-03-23T05:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, I don't normally like to tackle real issues here on my blog - I do enough of that in conversations with friends, but I did want to bring one to peoples' attention. Peak Oil. To quote one website (and I'll not share the link, because in my opinion, sites on the Peak Oil issue run the gamut from sensationalist to over-conservative, and if the reader is interested, I'd like them to do the research for themselves. It isn't hard. Typing those two words into Google will return tons of hits) "Peak oil is the point in time when extraction of oil from the earth reaches its highest point and then begins to decline. We won't be able to say with certainty when we have reached peak oil until after the fact."
What this means is that it is the point where extracting oil from the earth hits the point of diminishing return - more effort for less oil. This will of course drive the price of oil up. Supply and demand, the simplest of economic theories tells us that. Note, I am not suggesting that the current soaring gas prices are in any way related to this. Nor am I asserting they are not. There are reasons why the prices could increase independently of Peak Oil, but Peak Oil would certainly cause that.
This is an issue we (as a species) have been aware of for 40 years or more, and done fairly little about. There are, of course, places that have (California, for instance uses wind farms at the base of mountains to capture enough power to supply communities with their electricity needs, and of course, hybrid cars are on an upswing of popularity. Sadly, not as much so as SUVs) and continue to do this kind of work, but right now I am asking you to look into this issue and see if there isn't a little more we could all do. I'm not advocating becoming a hermit, or riding your bike to work in the snow up here in Canada, but just think both about what you can do to help delay that point, and also, what you will do when you can no longer afford to put gas in your car.
Estimates on the date when we will hit Peak Oil vary quite a bit. Some people say we have already hit it (potentially as much as 5 years ago, according to some) while others say we have about 30 years left. Either way, most experts seem to agree that we will hit it during my lifetime. To go hand in hand with my last post, by then I hope to be in Florida, where at least the cold will not be an issue.
At any rate, those of you who I know read this blog are all intelligent folks. Do a little research on Peak Oil, and give some thought to preparing yourselves for the future.

And now, I shall try to put my soapbox away and return to my regularly scheduled ranting asshole-itude.

Some Thoughts on Jobs. Or Florida. Or Both.

2005-03-15T08:50:00.001-05:00

A funny thing happened on my way to work today - I realized I like my job. Don't get me wrong. There are issues (right now, I'm way too busy to do all the things I have on my plate, for instance) and aspects of it that I do not like, but overall, I enjoy the way I spend my days. Not as much as I'd enjoy all-day orgies with a bevy of beautiful women or anything, but I certainly don't hate my job.

Unlike some friends of mine. I have some friends who really don't like their jobs. They are still working at them, of course, but looking for other work. This is pretty normal. But I have turned down some offers of late, because of how much I like working at my job. Including a repeat of an offer to move to Florida to work for a reputable company down there, and I love Florida.

Going there in August, in fact, which really isn't soon enough. I think I might start planning a camping trip into the Everglades, if that is even possible sometime soon.

Not that I am a metaphysical or even "go with your feelings" kind of guy, but there is something about Florida that speaks to me on a very basic level. I imagine I'll end up down there eventually, and will probably continue to vacation there frequently until then.

I spent some time yesterday talking to someone about moving over to the IT department here, and realized that I think it is a great idea for them. I really like it over here. For those of you who do not enjoy your jobs, I have but one piece of advice: keep looking. The good ones are out there.

Oscar Madness!

2005-02-28T08:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I watched the Academy Awards yesterday. Had a couple of friends over, Dan, who often comments here, and Reay and his girlfriend Jackie. Or at least she was there for most of it. Like me, she is an early riser. Unlike me, her body actually requires sleep, while mine just prefers that I make some effort to get some every now and again. So, she left early. By early I mean somewhere around the 2-2.5 hour mark. And that is the problem.

Okay, new rule: Award shows for movies should not be longer than the movies themselves. I have several suggestions on how to make the Academy Awards broadcast more interesting. And surprisingly, none of them involve nudity.

Get rid of some of the awards. The truth is, the average person doesn't care about Sound Mixing, or even Sound Editing. Both are crafts that are integral to our movie enjoyment, but are not necessarily of interest to the average person. Do them during the commercials (so they can still get the accolades of their peers) and show a list of who won afterwards. Post the speech on the internet for all to see. I'm not even sure editing needs to be shown.
Kill the performances of the songs. Especially by the same person. It was hard for me to tell a couple of the songs apart last night, and the performances seemed more about Beyonce than the music. Don't get me wrong: if they could all be performed with the flair of "Blame Canada" several years ago, or even that song from "The Triplets of Belleville" last year, I'm in. One woman singing three songs to varying accompaniment doesn't do it for me.
Don't let Sean Penn talk. Seriously. The man is not interesting. He is an amazingly talented actor, but not right for giving awards. I mean, come on, his little bit about Jude Law last night in response to Chris Rock's joke was stupid. Everyone watching the Oscars knows who Jude Law is. It was a joke.
Don't say dumb things. "Hilary Swank is the first woman to ever be nominated for playing a boxer." Who cares? I mean did we mention that about the first person to be nominated for playing an astronaut? Really, who cares?
Honorary Oscars - more commercial fodder. We don't care that much. That is all about the admiration of your peers - the public doesn't need to watch those.

Those are just a few suggestions - I'm sure a lot of you can come up with some of your own. The problem is, as it stands, much of this over-produced self-congratulatory fest is not fit for public consumption, and this should be changed - by the way, a couple of other things: Does anyone know what happens during the commercials if you are at the awards? Also, I must admit, I've always thought it was very nice that the academy sends a hot young actress to give out the Sci-Tech awards. Not to mention that the women usually look sexier there than at the Oscars themselves. Did you see Scarlett Johansson at the Sci-Tech awards?

Movie Manners, or, How Not to Get Your Ankle Broken.

2005-02-23T08:11:00.000-05:00

I mentioned that the question of rude people in movies would be treated in more depth another time... welcome to another time.

I saw a movie the other day (Boogeyman - I am a fan of horror movies, although this one was not great. Well enough directed, but the ending was weak and some of the dialogue was nearly painful) and at it was shown some of the more egregious violation of movie etiquette I have seen in a while.

I was with a friend, and as is our habit, we got there well before the movie, grabbed whatever we needed from the snack bar, and went to get the seats we want. We're both pretty big guys, so we like to sit where there is a rail in front of us, rather than seats, allowing us to stretch our legs out without kicking someone else's seat. The row behind us, in the middle, was a couple. After the movie started, the male of the couple got up to go get snacks. Yes. They were there before the movie, but waited until after about 8 minutes of trailers and commercials and a good 10 minutes of movie to go get snacks. Fortunately, the theatre was empty enough that he didn't have to go past other seated patrons in his row to get out. But off he went.

Several minutes later, he was back, food in hand, and went back to his seat (bumping at least my seat, and I think my friend's along the way) where the woman, who must have been incapable of whispering, began to tell him what he missed. My friend shushed her, and her response was "I was just catching him up on what happened!" I couldn't believe it! Do you think I care what you thought was so important you had to infringe on my enjoyment of the film? If so, you were wrong. And stupid. Then, at several other points throughout the movie, they had to be shushed again. Some people should just stick with renting videos. Talk all you want in the comfort of your own home.

Talking is one of the worst of the habits during movies that bother me. The occasional whisper is fine. But talking at normal volume, or non stop is stupid. Don't do it.

There are also lots of other behaviours that people engage in at movie theatres that bother me, and below is a little list for you:

Arriving during the trailers for a movie on opening day or any day if it is a popular movie and making a lot of noise about not being able to get seats in the part of the theatre you want. Guess what? People show up before a movie starts to get decent seats. If your time is too precious to spend fifteen minutes sitting in a theatre, fine. But that means you get those seats down in front. Take them and shut up. Don't compound your self-important stupidity with rudeness.
Asking me to move to make room for your party who showed up late. I love movies. I will show up early to get the seat I want for a film. The exact seat I want to sit in, whether it be on the rail so I stretch my legs out, or, in a theatre where that isn't necessary, right in the centre of the screen where I can see it best. Either way, there is no way I am giving up my nice seat to you because you got here too late to find 8 seats together. I know you are more important than everyone else, and there should have been 8 perfect seats reserved for you until well after the trailers started and the theatre was dark, but since someone dropped the ball on that, live with it.
Don't kick my seat. Once is an accident. Twice, hours apart is an oversight. Much more than that, and I will break your ankle. And if you have a kid, and the kid is energetic and swinging his feet and they are kicking my seat, I will break your ankle, because you should have taught him better. By about the age of 12 all bets are off though. I'm just turning around, and whichever ankle I get a hold of first is going. And stop that damn whimpering. I can't hear the movie.
Repeating lines from the movie. You are a) not as funny as the guy who said it on the screen, so it is not funnier when you repeat the line. b) not as cool as the guy who said the line on screen, so it is not as cool when you repeat the line. c) not in charge of making sure we all heard the line. We did. Shut up. Or d) any of the above, or any other reason why you think you should repeat the line. You are wrong. Don't do it.
Asking the person beside you why someone did something, hoping for greater insight than you have. There are two possibilities. 1) you are too stupid to follow your average Hollywood movie. If so? Leave. Go home and read some books. It'll help, and it'll get you out of the way of people who want to, and are able to, enjoy the movies. 2) It'll be explained later, in which case the person sitting beside you has no more insight than you. So shut up.
Bringing children into inappropriate movies. Do you remember when The Exorcist was re-released a few years ago? Someone was there with a child young enough that they were carrying it. Hmmm... creepy music, loud sounds, swearing, screaming. Yep. Right where I want my infant. I saw Adaptation, kind of a surreal weird movie in parts, and right behind us was a father and two children of about 10 or 12. I mean, come on! The movie poster was a picture of the star's head changed into a plant pot that had fallen over and was cracked. Does this, and the fact that the writer/director has a reputation for surreality (Being John Malkovich, anyone?) scream to you that kids will enjoy this film? They were bored (they mentioned so, quietly, to their father, who didn't care) but otherwise, remarkably well behaved. But really, why put the kids in that situation?

So, there you have it. My guide to what not to do at the movies. Maybe I should start treating moviegoers like my cats and bring a squirt gun to the movies. Try some negative reinforcement. Just in case, if you are seeing a movie, and all of a sudden the side of your head gets soaked, you might be in violation of one of the things above, and that bald goateed guy with the fluorescent squirt gun glaring at you just might be me.

I hope I'm not...

2005-02-22T12:48:00.000-05:00

Okay. Here goes a new entry a mere one day after the last - don't get used to it. Today's blog, boys and girls deals with all the things that I hope I am not. The thing is, most of the people who are the things below don't know it, so I could be and just not be aware of it.

Below is the list where a paragraph starts with "..." assume that represents the phrase "I hope I'm not" if you want it to make sense.

... One of those guys who thinks he's funny but isn't. Or even is kind of, but no where near as much as he thinks he is. You all know him - the guy who has to tell the same joke, which no one laughs at, to a bunch of different groups of people. And laughs uproariously at it every time. Or beats a horse that is not only dead, but cremated and had its ashes spread. I mean, it takes some work to keep beating that horse, scattered about as it is, but they find a way. Or the guy who tells racially, sexually or otherwise inappropriate jokes without knowing the tolerance of those around him to them. I have more than a few friends who joke about being brown. It's equally cool for me to reference brownness in jokes with them. Do I call every East Indian I meet "Brown Boy" the first time I meet them? Nope. They might not see the humour. There are a bunch of such examples, but since we all know one of these guys, I'm just going to leave it there and let you fill in the blanks.
There are two subsets of "not as funny as I think I am guy." I'm not sure which is worse - the guy who figures that if you don't react it is because you are stupid, or weren't listening and therefore whatever it was bears repeating, or the guy who demands a reaction: "Get it?" or "Funny stuff, huh?" or "Can you believe that?" Let me lay it out for you, if I didn't react, it's because I am too polite to look at you and say "that wasn't funny." If you insist I react, that is what you will get, because you have now taken from me the luxury of sparing your feelings. You deserve what you get.

... One of those people who thinks others care about his life to a greater degree than they do. I try not to talk about my work too much except to other technical people who might care. I don't think most people care about my car problems, whether or not my newest niece can walk yet, or my hangnail. There are people who do - close friends. And billions upon billions of people who don't. Of course, there is a line here between making polite conversation and boring people out of their minds. I like to believe I know where that line is, but I'm sure everyone who does this to others who do not care thinks they do too. Some of them are so far past the line that it is no longer visible, yet they think that this is because the line is still over the horizon coming towards them. Talking to one of these people is downright painful. I hope I never inflict that pain.

... One of those people who thinks people like him more than they really do. This one is really a pisser, as it often is composed of elements of the first two. People who invite themselves to sit with you at lunch, or follow you around, joining you in whatever you do, 'cause after all you are friends. I haven't had too many of these folks in my life, and none in years, but damn, when I did, I wanted to beat them with their own torn-off arm. If I wanted you around, I'd invite you. If I didn't invite you, it wasn't an oversight. Maybe it was once. More than once, and I didn't want you there.

... One of those guys who thinks that every woman wants him. Okay, I'm bald, carry a little extra weight, and my teeth are a little crooked. But for all that, I am still not a hideously unattractive guy. There might even be a couple of women in the world besides my wife who would like to give me a go. (Sorry ladies - happily married only begins to describe my level of satisfaction in my marriage) This does not mean that every woman I speak to in the course of my life (personal, professional, or both) wants me. Some of them really are just nice people. They are just being friendly. I know, you don't get it - when you talk to a woman it is because you want her, or you have to, or she's related to you. Women and men are different that way. Live with it, and don't embarrass yourself any more than you have to. This doesn't mean you should never try, it just means that one should realize that no one is everyone's "type." Learn to properly read a woman's signals, and you've managed one of life's bigger challenges. Not to mention, you have a writing career ahead of you in Maxim, et. al.

... One of those guys who thinks he is cooler than he is. You know, who wear driving gloves, but cannot pull it off. Same with Aviator shades, and any number of other styles. I know a guy (he's brown) who wears driving gloves. But he is cool enough to pull it off. (Just in case you ever read this, yes, Ack - I called you cool. Don't let it go to your head) Here is the deal - there is a limit to what anyone can pull off. Know your limits. Don't try to exceed them, or you will be mocked, whether it be to your face or behind your back.

... One of those guys who spends an inordinate amount of time letting what others do/think/don't know drive him nuts...

...wait...

Perils of a litigious society.

2005-02-21T10:19:00.000-05:00

Okay. I was going to write a blog entry that would regale you all with tales of my impending mid-life crisis (a little ahead of schedule) where I compare what I have accomplished to what I believe I am capable of in order to determine the net value of my life. Or something.

Instead, I will use this space to rail against one of the things stopping me from being able to easily pursue some of the things I want. Litigation.

I hate many forms of it. Some forms are justified. Some are outright lies, if you have seen some of the more ridiculous ones being circulated on the 'net, please do yourself a favour and become familiar with www.snopes.com. You'll find it in my links on my page.

But here is the thing: I can't send ideas to the people who should pay me for them, because they are afraid that if they use them, I will sue for infringement on intellectual property. What if I send an idea for a cool limited series to a comic book company, and they have someone working on something similar? They tell me no, a year later, they release something similar. I sue them for making money off of my idea. The thing is, it is a risk I'm willing to take. My favorite idea for a comic story is predicated on using characters who have 50 years of history or more with DC. Who else am I going to write that for? It won't work anywhere else. They can have the idea, and pay me for it if they think it is any good. Or don't. Whatever. I just want a chance to impress them with my brilliance.

But they won't even read it.

Similarly, I have some ideas that I think could improve Walt Disney World, quite often my destination of choice for vacations. Ranging from very broad suggestions, to very specific comments. I managed to dig up the mailing address for the guy in charge of Park and Resorts for the company, and sent him the package, stating in the covering letter, that these ideas were offered to them with no expectation of remuneration, on the other hand, if they'd like to hire me due to their uncommon brilliance and insight, I'd be amenable. They came back, unread, I presume, with a letter from a lawyer for the company. "Thanks, but we can't read these, as they are technically 'Creative Ideas' which we will not read unsolicited." Again, this is predicated on the Walt Disney World setup. Without it, the ideas are useless. Take them! Hell, some of them would make my stay more enjoyable, so take them and implement them just so I can enjoy them!

But no. Instead, both the world of comics and the world of Theme Parks is denied my contributions, because somewhere out there, (by which I mean West Virginia) a woman was awarded $2.2 million ($1.9 million of that is punitive) for hurting her back while opening a pickle jar at the convenience store she worked at. Or because some guy who changed his name to "Jack Ass" (I kid you not) is suing Viacom, who own MTV for the damage the show Jackass has done to his reputation and defamation of character, as well as copyright infringement. That's right. They have defamed his good name, the name "Jack Ass." He changed his name in '97 apparently to "raise awareness about drunk driving." He is looking for $10 Million in damages. More details on the Jack Ass suit here.

And so, because of people like this, and the steadily increasing "punitive" component of these kinds of suits, companies can no longer accept unsolicited submissions. And most of them are not soliciting by looking at blogs, so this won't help.

But hey, it's my blog, and lets me get things like this off my chest.

Valentine's day? Bah! Humbug!

2005-02-15T06:27:00.000-05:00

Okay, so at the risk of appearing misogynistic between this and my first entry, I have to speak out about Valentine's Day. It is the worst of the made-up "occasions" there are. Except maybe "Sweetest day" which thankfully hasn't caught on up here in Canada yet.
I have several problems with Valentine's Day.

Shouldn't men be showing their partners how they feel on a regular basis? Does it require one special day to do so (or two if you count Sweetest Day)?
Cards. Cards are crap. I think women really like them - I'm not sure what the attraction is, and I know many men who would agree. One of my best friends has a girlfriend who thinks cards are an integral part of any "occasion." I don't get it - for Christmas, I have already spent time and effort buying a great gift, do I really need to go and buy a card that some company mass-produced? Now, were I him, would I do it? Yep. Not because women are always right, but because it's never wrong to try (for either gender) to make your partner happy. Doesn't mean I would understand it any better, though.
Unevenness. I mean really. Let's see, for most guys, cards don't do much. Flowers even less, and chocolates will not be savoured, in fact we'll end up "sharing" them with the very woman who gave them to us. We might get sex on Valentines, but unless there are other issues in your relationship, that is neither reward nor gift, but something that happens with some regularity. Lingirie falls in to much the same category - I mean, if it is only worn on Valentines day, then she really doesn't like it and shouldn't bother anyway. Otherwise, if she wears it regularly, then it's hardly a "special treat" now is it?

I don't want to try to stop people who like this kind of occasion from celebrating it, but my wife agrees it is crap. She brought it up. It was back when we were saving for a place of our own, and she figured that putting the money I'd normally spend on such things towards the down payment was a better choice. Then she found that she didn't miss it, and has since decided it is crap that we shouldn't even bother observing. The only problem is, her best friend is regularly aghast that I don't buy her things for Valentines Day, taking this as an indicator there is something wrong with our relationship. I have made my wife cry with Christmas presents, and we have been together for almost 13 very happy years. But because we don't buy into an exuces for flower, chocolate and card companies to soak us for money, there is something wrong? Hardly.

Anyhow, if you enjoy the day, great. But take a step back and look at the "holiday" (Hallmark's description - I'd like the day better if I got it off of work) and see it for what it is - a money grab that plays on women's desires and abilities to make men's lives miserable.

Clear! The aggressive way to bring back some life to courtesy.

2005-02-12T15:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, you've all heard it before: Courtesy is dead. Maybe it has flatlined, but if we've learned anything from hospital shows on television, all you have to do is get out them paddles and look determined, and anyone or anything can be brought back.

Of course, the problem is, that my instinct when faced with someone who is discourteous is to be even more so back at them. For instance: there is a local strip mall that has a convenience store in it. This store is somewhat larger than your average store, and includes a bakery and deli. It sees a fair amount of business. But it is in a strip mall, so there is a parking lot right there. The nearest spots are about 30 feet from the door, and the next row of spots about 20 feet past that. Now here's the thing. People are always stopping right in front of the door. I guess they are more important than everyone else, who has to walk those 50 feet. Nope, they are so important that not only should they not have to make that walk, but they even feel its okay to block the door so the rest of us have to walk around their car/van/SUV/whatever.

I'm not typically the kind of person who believes in vandalizing others' property. But I swear, it is hard for me to resist the urge to leap up onto the hood of the vehicle and stomp my way across it in taking the most direct route to my car. You see, as mentioned above, this is the dilemma: the most tempting way to deal with discourtesy is to be even more discourteous right back at them. And of course, who would get arrested? Mr. Stopped in everyone else's way, or the guy who damaged someone's property? Yep. Not the guy who should.

And this pattern goes on. Everywhere in life, there are people who think they are more important than those around them. Line jumpers, people who stop in one lane of a busy street in rush hour to drop a video in the return slot, people who talk during movies (which will one day be a rant all unto itself, believe me) and anyone else who puts their convenience or whatever they feel like doing over everyone else's pleasure and convenience.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should all be softies who let people walk all over us, but seriously, let's go back to the Golden Rule: If you don't want someone to stomp on your hood (and maybe stop to take a leak halfway across) don't be an idiot.

Or something to that effect.

Did I miss the memo?

2005-02-09T08:32:00.000-05:00

When did it happen that women were declared to always be right? Not that I think men are always right, but come on! Let me give a few examples:

The toilet seat. I mean, sure, it sucks to put your ass into a cold toilet bowl becuase the seat is up in the middle of the night. There are a lot of other things that sitting in sucks too. So you look before you put your ass down anywhere. Especially if your ass is naked. Why is one way better than the other? 'Cause women say so.

Sex in relationships. Bill Maher once did a riff on the relationship therapists idea of "exploring your mutual fantasies." He pointed out there is no such thing. I don't remember the exact quote, but to paraphrase, it went something like this: There is no fantasy that starts out with Prince Charming bringing roses and weight-gain-free chocolates to sweep the woman off of her feet, and take her to his perfectly clean home, only to have him come on her face. And he is right. How often do you hear people giving advice to men about creating romance. Do you ever hear a relationship cousellor say "the problem is you don't put out like a porn star. That'd keep him happy. And next time you're in the mood, bring your hottest girlfriend home too." Nope. The women's way is "right" and guys are perverts who should change.

Anything else in relationships. Why is it most women I know a) don't recognize the value of a weekend day where you do nothing, and b) can't do whatever it is that stops them from doing nothing alone? I want a new book or DVD, I'll go out and grab it. A woman wants it, why even though she knows exactly what she wants and where to find it, she needs someone to go with her. And of course, I'm the insensitive one if I don't go. Why? 'Cause someone decided the woman is always right. Or at least that is the way I see it.

But then, having a penis, I'm probably wrong.